Blog 29: 3 mental filters that shape how you experience the world

05.10.26 02:14 PM

The 3 mental filters that are shaping your reality

We don't experience everything that is happening around us.

We filter, select, interpret and make sense of an enormous amount of information - and these processes can influence the way we experience the world.

Here are three mental filters, explored through the lens of NLP.

Your experience of reality is shaped by these mental filters

We already established in Blog 27 that we don’t necessarily experience reality exactly as it is - we experience our own version of reality. There are many layers involved in the game of perception, shaping what we notice and how we make sense of what is happening around us.

Some of those limitations are physical. For example, humans can only see and hear a limited range of the spectrum.

Then there is the amount of information we can consciously process. If we paid attention to every sound, movement, and piece of information around us, we would become overwhelmed very quickly.

And then there are psychological filters. In Blog 27, I mentioned Confirmation Bias - the tendency to look for information that confirms what we already believe or assume, rather than actively looking for information that might challenge it.

I also briefly mentioned the filters that Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) explores as part of the way we create our own ‘map of the world’ - that is, our personal representation and interpretation of the world around us.

In this blog, we’ll explore three of those filters: deletion, generalisation and distortion.

None of them are necessarily good or bad. They can be incredibly useful ways of simplifying and navigating a complex world. But, like many mental shortcuts, they can sometimes lead us towards conclusions that may not tell the whole story.

The more aware we become of them, the more opportunity we may have to pause, question our first interpretation and consider other possibilities.

Mental filter #1: Deletion

Deletion is the idea that we leave out, filter or pay less attention to information that our brain considers less relevant. In many ways, it can help us avoid becoming overwhelmed by everything happening around us.

When this can be helpful

Imagine you're reading a book in a busy coffee shop. There are conversations happening around you, music playing, people walking past and coffee machines making noise. Yet, somehow, you're able to focus on the words in front of you.

Your brain filters out - or at least pays less attention to - much of the information around you so you can focus on what feels relevant in that moment.

When this might not be helpful

We can also filter out information that doesn't fit with our current focus, expectations or beliefs.

For example, you might notice every piece of criticism while completely overlooking positive feedback. Or perhaps you have already decided that something is going to go wrong, so your attention keeps looking for signs that support that expectation.

There is plenty of information still there, but you may not be giving it the same attention.

How you could work with it

Try deliberately looking for information you may be filtering out. Ask yourself:

What else is happening?
What evidence am I not noticing?
What might I see if I looked at this from another angle?
Is there anything I might be overlooking because my attention is focused somewhere else?

Mental filter #2: Generalisation

Generalisation can happen when we take one or two experiences and create a broader rule from them. It can be a useful shortcut. But it can also lead us towards a conclusion that is broader than the evidence available.

When this can be helpful

Once you've learned how to open one door using a handle, you don't need to figure out every new door from scratch. Your brain generalises the pattern. You recognise something familiar and apply what you've already learned. Without the ability to generalise, we would probably have to relearn many things every single day.

When this might not be helpful

The same process can become more limiting when one experience turns into a rule about ourselves, other people or life.

One difficult maths test becomes: “I'm not good at maths.”

One relationship ends badly: “I can't trust people.”

One mistake becomes: “I always get things wrong.”

A single experience may have gradually become a much bigger conclusion.

Something to look out for

Words such as these can sometimes be clues that the mind has turned an experience into a broader rule:

Always
Never.
Everyone
No one
Every time
Nothing

Of course, using these words doesn't automatically mean that a generalisation is unhelpful. But they can be interesting words to notice.

How you could work with it

Ask yourself:

“Is this really true in every situation?”
“Always?” "Never?"
“Everyone?”

Finding even one exception can sometimes begin to loosen the certainty around a rule that may not be serving you.

Mental filter #3: Distortion

Distortion is the idea that we can change, interpret or add meaning to the information we are receiving. We don't simply take in information as a completely neutral recording. We interpret it - and that interpretation can be influenced by what we already believe, think, expect or feel.

When this can be helpful

Distortion isn't automatically a bad thing - it can be part of creativity, imagination and our ability to see possibilities.

An artist sees a painting on a blank canvas. A child sees a wand in a stick.

We constantly add meaning, possibilities and imagination to the world around us.

When this might not be helpful

Sometimes, however, the meaning we add can increase distress.

“They haven't replied. They must be angry with me.”
“I made one mistake. Everything is going wrong.”
“This is going to be a disaster.”

The important thing isn't necessarily whether these thoughts are 'wrong'. The question might simply be: what do I actually know, and what has my mind added to the information available?

How you could work with it

Notice when your mind may be filling in the gaps. Ask yourself:

What do I actually know?
What am I assuming?
What meaning am I adding to this situation?
Is there another possible explanation?

You don't need to force yourself to believe the most positive explanation. Sometimes, simply remembering that there may be more than one possible interpretation can create a little more space.

Your brain is doing its job - work with it

Filtering, simplifying, generalising and predicting can all help us navigate an incredibly complex world. The goal isn't to fight your brain or try to stop these processes completely. Perhaps it's simply about becoming a little more aware of how your mind is working.

Because when we can notice the filter we may be looking through, we have more choice about whether we want to keep looking through it - or consider another perspective. And sometimes, simply asking a different question can show us something we hadn't noticed before.

More awareness can mean more choice

If you’d like some support exploring your own mental filters, reach out. I am a Certified NLP Practitioner, together we can identify the patterns shaping your experience and increase your awareness of them.

Let's work together